Today is election day and if you know me at all, if you follow me on the social media quantum wavefront waving antennae in the electric mist, you’ll know who I’ll vote for. I don’t really understand the weight of swing states or why folks in Ohio are going to decide my next president. I can’t say I understand the ins and outs of the electoral college voting system other than what Wikipedia tells me. My state will vote Republican because we’ve got oodles of racists, corporate apologists, and beaucoup right-wing nutjobs. This is the South, red as blood. But I can’t understand why any minority or woman would vote Republican. Obviously, there’s a lot I don’t understand.
But I’ve got questions. Why would someone want to become president so much he’d torpedo his own values over and over again? Why would anyone vote for someone as provably inconstant as our Republican candidate? Who the hell would vote for a man to assume an office he’s constantly shown disdain for (one of the few constants in his campaign)? Who the fuck can believe in the debunked trickle-down Republican platform? If trickle-down economics worked, Arkansas wouldn’t be the 48th poorest state in the union, okay? Walmart would see to that, and it hasn’t.
But it’s 4am, I can’t sleep. This moment is indicative of the point I’m at in my life. On the knife’s blade between waking and slumber. The tightrope between subsistence and poverty. My future, right now, is uncertain – return to the humdrum world of a secure dayjob or keep working in uncertainty? Have a corporate axeman as my president, or have a hopeful but hamstrung one? Keep writing dark fiction or move into greener more fantastical pastures? (More on this in the future.) Pants or shorts? Eggs or protein shake?
I’m on the cusp of a great change. I left my dayjob last March to pursue freelance design and my writing career. I saw the release of my first novel from a major publisher, finished the second novel in my young adult series (still waiting on edits), and had other big things happen that I can’t tell you about yet. I know, right? Why do folks always do that? “I have news.” “What is it?” “I can’t tell you.”
Meanwhile, because of the dearth of freelance work here, we’ve considered moving out of my beloved home state for greener pastures. It saddens me, truly, but as much as I love Arkansas (while not being unrealistic about its denizens) it does not love me back, it seems, and a new location might be what the Jacobs family needs to start anew. There are times when I feel like just packing up the fam-damily and taking off. I need to be closer to the action – literary, design, animation, film. I’m on the periphery here, relegated to the margins of the world.
Anywho, it’s now almost 5 and I’ll be able to go vote soon. I hope it does my world some good.
That is all.