Journal June 27, 2018

Last couple of days, I’ve been “reviewing” some stuff here. Blood Standard and Nameless. I don’t really consider them real reviews because if I hate something, I won’t come on this blog and slag it. I’d rather just talk about stuff I really liked. I’ve dealt with enough bad reviews in my life, I definitely don’t want to be that guy. And so, if something appears on this website, it’s because I endorse it, I enjoyed it, and I hope the world will enjoy it, too. Without the possibility of a negative review, I’ll never be a real reviewer. And I’m okay with that.


Just realized yesterday that I forgot my fifteen year anniversary of quitting smoking. At the time, I had a two-year-old, a newborn. I had tried many times to quit before – the patches, the gum – but it never took. But one day I woke up, coughed, my chest ached, and I realized I didn’t enjoy it anymore. Even the act of smoking was by rote, I was satisfying an addiction, it was devoid of pleasure. So I quit, cold-turkey. Haven’t really looked back (though occasionally I’ll chew a cheap cigar when writing). Anyway, fifteen years down. I have been a non-smoker for longer than I was a smoker.

With the quitting drinking (mostly), the weight loss and exercise, by the time I die I might be a healthy person.


I have lost enough weight that now I am constantly cold in the office and our home. I used to say, fifty pounds ago, I was built for Northern climes, but maybe that’s not true anymore. Brought a sweater to the office, so I can keep toasty.


My Heart Struck Sorrow is coming along nicely. It’s a very different piece. I’ll share a bit here with you, a passage I liked. It’s of a very depressed man. I said in a tweet I was going to stop with the subtext and just state stuff overtly, but I seemed to be doing that only halfway:


One of my kids is coming home tonight from a trip to Florida. I love it when they leave and love it when they return. Honestly, as much as my wife and I have given structure to their lives, they have given structure to ours. When both of them are gone, I’m a little lost and don’t know what to do with myself. And in two and a half years, both of them will be adults, and gone. Okay that last part is a maybe. But that era of my life will be over.

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