Someone Is Wrong On The Internet

Hey, everybody makes lists. The best short stories, the best novel, their favorite album. Best band evar. Year’s best. Decade’s best. Ten things they’d like to see in the next Star Trek/Star Wars/Avengers/Iron Man movie. That’s cool. Lists are fine.

Opinions. That’s all.

So just earlier tonight, a couple of folks tweeted a link to a list of top 100 horror authors, you can view it here.  It’s kinda crazy. Granted, I don’t know how they were chosen. It could have been a vote or something of that nature. There are vagaries to any online poll and that can be forgiven.

If the list wasn’t voted into existence, it’s seriously fucked up. 90% of it is just fine. Great even. But the other 10%? Ooof. Not good. And even though it’s just opinion, I have to take exception to it. There were just so many blatant wrongs in there, all I could think of was a flashing neon sign reading NEPOTISM. So I snatched up my pad and paper and began compiling a list of obvious replacements for the 10%.

Here’s what I wrote:

Simon Clark
Norman Partridge
Doug Clegg
TM Wright
Christopher Golden
Tom Piccirilli
Tim Powers
Laird Barron
Nick Mamatas
Manly Wade Wellman
Poppy Z. Brite
Max Brooks
August Derleth
Sarah Langan
Chuck Palanhuik
Justin Cronin
Thomas Harris
Oscar Wilde
Peter Benchley
Neil Gaiman
William Hjortsberg
Matthew Lewis
Sarah Pinborough
Charles Beaumont
Gary Braunbeck
John Bellairs
Michael McDowell
Caitlin Kiernan

Those were just off the top of my head. I’m sure there are hundreds more.

Moral to this story? Someone was wrong on the internet.

That is all.


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